wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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