I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
