Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
