You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
