you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
