so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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