I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
