Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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