last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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