She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
