my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
