no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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