I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize