I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
