You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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