exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
