Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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