I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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