Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
