I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
