And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
