Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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