she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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