She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
