people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
