She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
smell my finger.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
