I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
