I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
