Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize