Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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