In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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