yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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