we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
