talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
