SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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