Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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