I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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