Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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