Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
