party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
