her vagine was all disorganized.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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