If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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