so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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