So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Randomize
