well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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