i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What a dumb baby whore.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
