i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the day after is always just damage control
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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