so explain again why im purple
no
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude i'm inner monologue high
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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