You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
