Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I got inside last night via doggy door
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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