Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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