he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
