it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
