We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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