your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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