I want to have your abortion
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
