It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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