I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i need some magic done to my vagina
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
