The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Are we still banned from the library?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
