Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
