Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
