I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
