Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
