I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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