oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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