Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
