he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
