I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
