So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
