wakey wakey hands off snakey
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
