Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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