I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
